Dear Monday Night Football,

Thank you allowing the beloved Cleveland Browns a chance to display their skills on a lovely Monday night in front a large audience of football fans.  It allowed us to watch more football while nursing our sunday tailgating handovers.  I also wanted to tell you how I really like those cool commericials you have with the nerds at their day jobs.. waiting for monday night.  It makes me picture myself at the office grabbing office supplies or maybe I was working as a line cook at a restaurant.  Either way it gets me pumped to watch football!!

One thing that is strange this past week, then the other weeks is your commercials seemed to be shorter and more to the point.  What gives?  For weeks I heard about Farve vs Green Bay... I've heard about Brady-a-bunch... (haha) and don't forget Pittsburgh is practically on every other week.  and of course we hear about those guys....   

But this week, it was the BALTIMORE RAVENS with Flacco, McClain, and Lewis versus the browns.  (I can't type the last part fast enough.)  If you're not going to give us the advertising then why even give us the game????  Are you embarred of our 1-8 record?  Why?  Is it our lack of protection on Quinn.. Anderson.... Quinn.. no.. wait, Quinn. Yes, that's it!  Or is it the lack of points we put up.

I guess if you're not going to do it right, why do it at all?  Don't bother giving us the game next year - assuming the francise is still alive and has money to pay its players because ticket sales only go to the Cavs.

It's cool - we really don't want any other fans to watch us anyways.  Continue to tell Fox and ABC to burry us on only the Canadian Channels so no one can see us.

Have a great week with the Texans an Titans next week!  Another bunch of winners!  I knew about the game because you advertised it before the Browns scored a point... which was in week 4.

Thanks for resigning Grudden - he's funny,

Sincerly,

A Witness

T'was the night before the season and all through the house,

The Cavs were preparing to defend Eddie House.

The season is trimmed with Cavs fans thinking of gold,

The predictions have been made and all the tickets have been sold.

The lineup is new and flashy like Lebron's famous dunks,

The new crew is ready to face those tall Orlando punks.

Ferry said this offseason "let's go get the Superman,"

But in my rebudle don't forget Z can hit a jumper from the lake shore sand.

Mo and Boobie and West are ready to dish dimes,

to Shaq down low where he'll get fouled and sent to the free throw line.

But the city knows the team's fate rests on one man,

Lebron is the King, so stand up and cheer, all you Cavs fans!