Before I skipped off to Canada last week to the NBA Mascot Conference (yes we have one, yes it's as dumb as it sounds) I said I would be crashing a local sports team.

I am a dog of my word.

Saturday Night July 26th I crashed the party at the Lake County Captains game....in full disclosure they knew I was coming. I felt bad that I wasn't able to make Skipper's birthday bash later in the week (due to the aforementioned conference)...so I asked if I could come on Saturday.

I picked quite a day too: It was Christmas in July at the game, meaning Santa (yes, that Santa) was at the game, along with a bunch of holiday folly. The Captains are nothing if not thrifty....since I know you can get Christmas stuff on Dec 26th for about 80% off...so I suspect stores pay you in July to take that stuff off the shelves. Genius.

After the game there were fireworks and it was Perch bobblehead night too. Not sure you could ask for more.

But I did:

In fact, I asked for the whole kit and kaboodle (I always do). I asked if I could BE the Perch for the Perch Race. Which is the biggest live race West of Pittsburgh and East of Milwaukee.....so you know it's quite large.

And I don't have to explain to you how fast I am in a oversized yellow fish costume (or do I?). Well, it goes without saying (at least here) that I am quite fast....at least faster than the other Red and Green Perch who dared to take me on.

I won...and I am also here to swear on a stack of LeBron birth certificates that the race is 100% legit. Not those those phony Perogie Racesat Pirate Games...those are the professional wrestling of costumed food racing.

Not only did I win, I looked sexy doing it. (see photo)

It was a great night and I thank all the great Captain fans and the Captain front office for letting me crash their Saturday-Night-Christmas-In-July-Fireworks-and-Perch-Bobblehead-Racing night.....which actually kinda makes our "Planet Cavs" t-shirt giveaway look like a promotion we just threw together last minute.

--sexy fish