Lacking Thumbs makes typing difficult, but my dewclaws still allow me to pass Fonzie, Ceasar, and Sexy White Chocolate Guy Judgement on all things in the return of one of my award-winning blog series called:  Dewclaws Up - Dewclaws Down.

For those of you who have missed previous installments, here's the deal Jay Jenson.

I cast my furry thumbs up or thumbs down on topics of my choosing (making me doubly important, both the judge and the picker of what is judged*).

Dewclaws Down on Twitter
I am reluctantly on Twitter (@cavsmoondog), but only as a service to my loyal and passionate fans (I give so much).  That said, the service has devolved into a short series of poorly written and punctuated droppings illuminating insights regarding such topics as what Sarah Palin had for dinner, when Ricky Rubio is sleepy, and how the airlines are treating people I will never meet.  I just find it hard to care about what anyone has to say if they can only manage the time to type 140 characters about it.  It has been said that writing is dead.  If it is not, Twitter will kill it shortly. 

In full ironic glory, I will tweet about this column as soon as I post it.

Dewclaws Up on Facebook

It's no CavsFanatic, but I dig it.  Allowing you to block people playing that Mafia game has put it back in my good graces.  I also finally got to simplify my URL into Facebook.com/moondog, which is as cool as my CavFanatic URL. 

Dewclaws Down on the Hyped Predetermined Finals

We all know who should have been in the Finals, but I just don't like that certain people jumped the gun and wouldn't stop talking about 23 v.24 in April.  Let it happen all in due course.  Life isn't a destination - it's a journey....so are the Finals.  Next year let's enjoy the ride, which may well end with 23 v. 24, but there is no good reason to start tripping over ourselves to talk about it.

Dewclaws Up for The Coyote

Most of the time I laugh AT my mascot counterparts.  However, I recently have found myself laughing WITH one in particular.  So dewclaws up to the Spurs Coyote.  He's funny and clever....and gets away without pants better than most anyone.

Dewclaws Up to Blog Award Panelists

As you probably know by now, my blog is an award-winner.  Multiple times, multiple awards, providing a mantel full of metal bowls and etched glass things.  I recently posted some crappy blogs just to see if the panelist were just a bunch of frauds who wanted free tickets or autographs....but none of these crappy blogs won anything, showing that the panel is not only wise, but a fine judge of crafty prose and talent.  They also continue to ignore everything written on Twitter (see note above).   I remain hopeful that amazing blogs like this one will prime the award pump and start a flow of blue ribbon props back home to this dog blog (it's sentences like that one that take blogs to another level.)

Dewclaws Up to Baseball Managers

I give this approval not for their ability to make the double switch or kick dirt on authoritative shoes....but for just walking in the clubhouse on their way to the job of managing the club....and repeatedly making the decision to put on the game uniform.  It's a classic move that makes every game worth watching.  I think it's just tradition, but I am always on pins and needles to see if they will every pinch run themselves in the late innings.

I am not sure I can put a number on what I would pay to see Gregg Poppovich or Coach Egan on the bench wearing some John Stockton-era shorts and Chuck Taylors.

and a final Dewclaws Down to Evan Longoria

I appreciate this talented baseball all-star, but I am sorry....this name has been taken. Or at least one too similar to yours....which makes yours unusable.  Eva Longoria and I have a thing, ever since she visited the Q a couple years ago.

After this very special kiss two things have happened:  1) Tony Parker doesn't bring her to Cleveland anymore, and 2) I drop everything I am doing to catch a glimpse of my one-time love interest when I hear her name on the TV.

Which means I can't get anything done when I watch SportsCenter or Tampa Bay Rays games on TV....because her name has been hijacked by Evan (with an often too silent N) It's really quite distracting and I end up salivating at what turns out to be a 300 hitter in tight pants suited for a baseball manager.  It just doesn't work for me.

So Evan, you need to change your name.  Joel Longoria?  Bob Longoria?  Go Broadway and try E. Michael Longoria.  Frankly (or Frank Longoria) I don't care, just change it.

And let's get ahead of this nasty trend.  If you are a young stud athlete and potential professional athlete with any of these names, you need to get ahead of the curve and start using something else:  Terry Hatcher, Claude Schiffer, Tyrel Banks, Paul Porizkova,  Brook Shields, or Del Macpherson.

I am just not in the mood to be distracted and confused in the future over something we can so easily correct today.

Until next time, keep your thumbs out of my business and keep reaching for your dreams (my new tag line!).

--Dog

*** Follow Award-Winning Blogger/Superstar Mascot/Offical Mascot of the Cleveland Cavaliers on Twitter where he regretfully tweets on occasion.  Join him on Facebook, MySpace and Flickr.  Or just be a CavFanatic like Moondog. ***

* There is probably a word for this, but I can't think of it.