Dear Optimist,

I'm a true Cavaliers fan, and for true, I mean BEFORE LeBron came to Cleveland. Maybe I was the only in Italy! I liked the team composed by Terrell Brandon, Chris Mills, Bobby Phills (R.I.P.), Tyrone Hill and Z with coach Fratello. Even though the seasons were not very good...

Now is the eve of game 7 against Boston and I write to you for the first time only to say "LET'S GO CAVS!" x100 times!

I ask you also a favor: Can you begin your next analysis of g. 7 with "Ciao a tutti, tifosi dei Cavs!" (Hi everybody, Cavs fans!) It will be very appreciated! Thanks and ... you know that true Cavs fans always KEEP THE FAITH.

Greetings from Stefano in Italy

Stefano
ITALY

Ciao a tutti, tifosi dei Cavs! I am the Optimist. And welcome to Game 7, paisans.

Stefano - prego for the international letter. As for the rest of you, let's not engage in the usual tutti-frutti tickle-fighting that frequently precedes the meat of the order. Our beloved Cavaliers stand on the threshold of history this afternoon. And I intend to be as All-Business as the squad was on the Team Bus ride to Bostonia.

This is a do-or-die-make-it-or-break-it-win-or-go-home-kill-or-be-killed Sunday, blockheads! Are you worried?

I'm not.

Because I'll take my chances any day of the week - and twice on Sunday - with Numeral 23 running the show in a best-of-one series. TheBron still hasn't quite figured it out from the field, and yet he's averaging 33.5 over his last two. He's been getting better throughout the series. Think he'll be ready to rumble on Sunday afternoon in Boston?

That's a rhetorical question, for those of you nodding your heads at the computer screen. But I love your enthusiasm.

Like those of you watching at home, the Cavaliers' coaching and medical staff will be monitoring the young King's Angry-Meter^TM throughout the affair. But no one on the Wine and Gold's bench will be prepared for what they witness on Sunday afternoon at the TD Banknorth Garden.

Allow me to illustrate ...

Every player performs better when he has an emotional edge to his game. And your average, everyday NBA superstar - your Kobe Bryants, your Kevin Garnetts - can usually top out around a 9.6 (thoroughly infuriated). Naturally, because TheBron is gifted, he can run as high as 9.94 (out of his tree).

But on Sunday, with the Celtics holding a six-point edge with 1:14 to play, TheBron goes to 11.

(You're probably wondering why cavs.com doesn't just make 10 angrier and make 10 be the top number and make that a little angrier? But the thing is: this Meter goes to 11.)

Running at an 11 (rabid) is uncharted waters - even for TheBron.

It happens when he picks Paul Pierce's pocket and breaks for the other end. The Chosen One is soaring for the score when he's upended from behind by Big Baby Davis. Though purely incidental, this sends TheBron over the edge. Anderson Varejao helps him up, but knows better than to man-hug the livid superstar. Wally is rebuffed on a high-five.

TheBron cans the free throw to bring Cleveland to within three. On the next possession, Joe Smith wrestles a rebound away from the Big Ticket and finds TheBron, who knifes through the Celtics defense once again, scoring on a sweet left-handed reverse.

With now just 18 seconds to go in both teams' seasons and the Celtics with the ball leading by one, the Cavaliers have to foul and they do, Eddie House. But he splits the pair and the Cavaliers have a chance for the win.

On the final possession of the Second Round, TheBron dribbles around a Zydrunas Ilgauskas pick and drives directly at the reigning Defensive Player of the Year. When Rajon Rondo leaves Delonte West, TheBron - as angry as he is - dishes deftly to Delonte, who lifts, loads, and laces the 22-footer from the left wing.

Boston's desperation heave with 1.1 seconds left seals the deal, with the Cavaliers sending the Celtics - and their season of dreams - to the showers.

The Cavaliers win Game 7 in shocking fashion - 81-80 - as West, the former Celtic, is mobbed by his mates.

The Wine and Gold vidi, they vini, they vici - getting the halogen out of Boston aboard the Team Bus, which they'll trade in once again in the postseason, for the EM-50 Urban Assault Vehicle - fueled and armed to the teeth for Tuesday's journey to Motown.

As for the Celtics - they are, and always will be, formidable foes. And it's not their fault that they ran into TheBron. He happens to a lot of teams. Boston held him in check for the first six games of the series, but Sunday, TheBron erupts. New England ain't seen a monster like this since Jaws was scarfing down swimmers up in Amity back in the ‘70s.

Here endeth the lesson, Cleveland. You've had some bad sports Sundays in your past; but today won't be one of them.

I hope you liked today's prognostication. Was it real enough? Or was it SO real that it just blew your mind?!

That's what I thought.

Gird up for a good one on Sunday afternoon, folks. There won't be any GINO today. Provided, of course, that you remember to ...

Keep the faith, Cleveland

Your pal,
The Optimist

Shalom, homes! You are Cavaliers fans; I am the Optimist. Fate brought us to this place - Game 6 in the Motherland.

Some of you out there are thinking: "Hey, what's with the exclamation point, fool? Don't you realize that our beloved Cavaliers are on the brink of elimination versus your arch-rivals?

Of course I do. I was there: watching Rob Lowe and their little leprechaun and GINO dance about it.

As far as the exclamation point - it'll take more than being down one game to the Celtics to curb my enthusiasm. I don't get paid the long green to roll over and have my belly itched every time the Cavaliers fall behind in a playoff series.

But if you have to: roll out the old Slip-n-Slide and shave off them itchy little Playoff Beards^TM. You've got Ball-Park franks that plump when you cook ‘em and Canadian Soldiers and Southside Johnny at the Rib Cook-Off to groove on.

I love Cleveland in the summer, too. And let's be honest - the Playoffs are hard.

HOWEVER - for those of you ready to stand and FIGHT on a Friday night: welcome back. We don't go down for nobody. In C-town, we set the wrong things on fire. We throw dog bones.

And anyone who tells me TheBron can't guide the Wine and Gold to two straight wins is free to enjoy their summer. The Tribe only has a couple hundred more games to go against teams that aren't the Yankees and Red Sox.

Otherwise, you're welcome to watch Numeral 23's Friday night reign of terror at The Q. Playoff highs in points and steals. Several earth-shattering, death-defying dunks - and yes, most sweetly, a Cavaliers victory.

We'll get to the 11-point triumph in a second. First: you may have noticed a small, blond Indian man hanging around today's column. That's just Aditya 'Romeo' Dev - the World's Smallest Bodybuilder. He's 2'9" tall. I was searching for a truly inspirational figure for today's do-or-die, must win Friday. I thought: Brian Piccolo? Our fighting men and women overseas?

No. This required a true underdog. The man is smaller than some of the Optimette's lamps and he lifts 1.5 kg dumbbells! That little dude is diesel, yo! Romeo Dev is hands-down today's Game 6 Beard^TM to be feared.

Let's read a quick letter that the 7000 busted off and then we'll get to tonight's win over Boston, and how TheBron is going to dunk on they heads.

 

---

Dear Optimist,

I am a bus driver, so I love hearing about your road trips because I feel like I am right there driving the bus...

I have a problem. Every playoff season, my company has a No-Beard policy. All I can do is grow in a longer, thicker stash. Please, great-one, tell me what to do.

Johnny "Wild-dog"
Suffern, NY

 

---

Wild-dog - I'm moved by your candor. Thanks for reading and writing in. And, of course you're exempt from growing an actual Playoff Beard^TM.

Grow your nice, thick stash, Johnny. You've probably got enough trouble being from a town called "Suffern."

But truthfully, we must consider ALL Cavaliers fans: like the foxy female Cavs fans who can't grow a beard. Or the prepubescent. And what about little Romeo Dev? He doesn't have a full beard and go ahead and try telling little Hercules that he's less of a man. I CHALLENGE YOU!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, people.

If you're a true Cavaliers fan: It's not the hair that you're growing on your face. It's the hair you're growing on your heart.

Now, let's proceed to tonight's action-packed contest pinning the Cavaliers, who lead by two after one, and the Celtics, who lead by one after two. TheBron leads Cleveland with 15 at intermission. Paul Pierce leads Boston with 13 and six boards.

Delonte West logs heavy minutes and does heavy damage - draining a pair of huge treys to help Cleveland close the third on a 10-3 run. Kevin Garnett is a perfect 5-5 in the period. The teams are deadlocked at 68 after three.

After inexplicably going scoreless in the previous quarter, TheBron goes directly to work - loving levitation, raising-and-ripping, driving, swishing, dishing. The young King has his way with the Celtics, outscoring them 19-18 in the period, and leading the Wine and Gold warriors to the 99-88 win before a throbbing throng at The Q.

The Large Lithuanian gets back on track with 22 points and Joe Smith nets a dozen. KG leads the Celtics with 28.

Now, did you notice that I haven't mentioned anything about Game 7 today?

That's on accounta we can't win Game 7 tonight. We can only win Game 6 tonight. I'm not going to bother with Sunday's game Game 7 victory any more than I'm going to bother with Tuesday's Game 1 victory in Detroit.

We're counting on you, Cavaliers fans! It's Friday night. You know ... ya load up. Ya party.

Fear is never boring, my friends. Gird up for a good one on Friday night in downtown Cleveland!

If everyone behaves - we can have a nice, clean Game 6, and this series can go back to Boston tied at three games apiece. If everyone doesn't, Gloria James can punch some Celtics' lights out.

Either way, I'll see you blockheads on Sunday morning.

Until then.

Choose faith, Cleveland

Your pal,
The Optimist